Confessions of a recovering overthinker

I can admit, I am an overthinker. I can think of thousands upon thousands of ways things could not work out. I can think about how a person may or may not react to something I may say or do. Most of the time (well, all of the time I can admit..lol) I end up spinning around and around in my head burning needless energy like the man in this video (click here).

But when I really think about the root cause of this “overthinking”, I realize that it stems from a need to have control of the outcomes in my life. I figure that if I can think and determine how things will turn out, then I will not have to deal with uncertainty. That I won’t have to be disappointed.

Somewhere in my childhood, I learned to protect myself by thinking that the worst things would happen, so I wouldn’t get disappointed when the things that I truly wanted didn’t come to pass.

Not healthy, I know.

However, over the years I have been really trying to fight this way of thinking and have been getting better everyday. But every now and then, a new experience, person,etc., will trigger that part of me.

When I make a mistake, I overthink.

When I find myself developing deep feelings for a man, I overthink,

When I am not sure which way to go, I overthink.

The list can go on and on.

But this morning, I was reminded again of the words Paul so eloquently wrote in Philippians (3:12-14):

 “Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal,but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.”

Paul is so right. I haven’t become the best me yet. But everyday, I wake up with the intention of being the best me.

I am not perfect, but I press on.

I may stumble, but I press on.

I may even fall, but I dust myself off, pick myself up, and press on.

Every morning that I am blessed to open my eyes serves as a “reset”.  Daily,  I strive to forget all of my past mistakes that are behind me and strain towards the things that God has in front of me. All of the blessings that He has in store. Consistently asking God to help me to release control to Him and trust that all things will work together for my good (Romans 8:28). Ultimately, trusting that in the end, I will win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.

xoxo,

Cosmo

 

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