This morning as I sat in the presence of God, I felt myself drawn to Psalm 139:16: “..all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”
Literally, I repeated that out loud to myself several times to let it truly sink in. I think after the 20th time, it finally did. God has already lined up my future. He knows who I will marry, if I will have children, what my future job(s) will be, everything. He knew and knows every mistake I have and will make and still has made provision for me because he loves me. I am his child.
After I read the scripture, I moved to my morning devotional and I started laughing. The title of the devotional was “Giving up Control”. God really has a sense of humor. Friends, I recognize that I truly struggle in this area. I honestly have slight anxiety at times about the unknown. I like to feel like I can think through and figure out every outcome for everything in my life. I love plans! I love knowing what comes next. But God knows this about me as well.
He knows that I want to know everything so for that reason, I feel God tells me things on a need-to-know basis. I have never been that person that God has told that they would accomplish something 5 years from now. God literally lets me know in the moments or days leading up to something.
I think He wants to remind me for the twenty thousandth time to rest in Him. To trust that he has plans to prosper me and not to harm me (Jeremiah 29:11). To trust that his perfect will is working in my life and that for every heartache, for every mistake that God can give me beauty for my ashes.
As I get older, I feel that life brings a lot more unknowns and new experiences. This year has brought so many blessings and experiences that I never even dreamed about. I know God wants to do more for me and through me. But he can’t while I am trying to control things.
So, with a “Woo-sah” I exhale and let go. I let go of all of the stress and fear associated with the unknown. And I trust God to work his perfect will in my life.