For some reason, the state of my love life is becoming more and more interesting to people as I get older. Family and strangers alike find it strange that I haven’t earned my M-R-S degree along with my other educational degrees. I have been told that I need to “hurry up” and that “I am not getting any younger”. I have been asked have I thought about freezing my eggs and had I considered dating sites. I have been sent articles about what is wrong with black women and why so many of us are single. I have even heard it said that a woman isn’t a true woman until she gives birth.
In short, society’s expectations and pressures can be a burden. After all, I do want to get married. And truthfully, I have asked myself, why hasn’t it happened yet?
But, if I say I have faith in God and trust in His timing, then I have to believe that at the right time, God will bring my husband to me. That it isn’t up to me to “make it happen”. I have tried that route, with disastrous consequences. So, you live and you learn. I decided that 2015 would be different. I will be 35 this summer and I really do not want to continue the way I have been going. I have decided to be unapologetically single and challenge myself to draw even closer to God and do things that I only dreamed of doing. And, if love comes along in the midst of this, great, but if it doesn’t, that is ok too. Because, what if I never get married? I refuse to buy-in to society’s thinking that something is wrong with me. When it is my time to leave this earth, I want to say that I had lived this life that had been given to me in the best way possible.
So I have signed up for a marathon that I will run in November.
I have booked a solo trip to Paris and Barcelona for the fall.
I have thrown myself into community service through my church, sorority, my undergraduate and graduate alumni associations, and the junior league.
I will continue to grow in Christ and show the love of the lord in a greater capacity.
I will not be afraid and I will challenge myself in all aspects of my life.
In short, I will be unapologetically single and I will not explain to people anymore why I am still single. I am waiting on God’s timing and if that makes them uncomfortable, then I am sorry. But I will no longer allow society’s expectations to make me feel bad. I’d rather be by myself then be miserable in a relationship with a man that God has not ordained for me. There are plenty of people in unhappy marriages that just felt they needed to get married, without consulting God first.
If you are single, I urge you to join me. If you are not doing so already, challenge yourself to do something that you keep putting off. Push yourself. The single season is quite a blessing because there is no other time in your life that you can do whatever you want to do when you want to do it. You can move to another country, you can spend money the way you want to, you can sleep in if you want to, etc. Once you get married and have kids, your life isn’t your own anymore.
Life is more than marriage. When I do get married, I want it to be for the right reasons and with the right person. So I will be unapologetically single knowing that God has someone who will be more than I could ever hope or dream of. Until that time, I will live my life, ringless and all!