Today was a rainy, dreary, cold day. It seemed like the day would never end. I spent a lot of time gazing out of the window watching people shiver down the street. I briefly left the office during lunch for a meeting with M, which was very helpful. She stressed to me that I really need to become more focused on building my self-confidence. I find this to be true. I think I am a people pleaser to a great extent. I worry too much about what people may say or think about me. I often find myself second guessing myself if something negative is said about me. But I need to not let others define me. I really need to become more secure in who I am so that whatever someone says, will not shake the core of me. A series of events over the years has led to me feeling this way, but I think I might have always wanted to please, first starting with my mother. But as I am exiting my twenties this year, I am determined not to bring this self-destructive behavior into my new decade. I plan on being more comfortable in my own skin and to brush off things that people may say. I need to come up with my own mission statement and hold that dear to my heart. Part of that work requires me to focus on the present instead of jumping to past or future. I really feel this blog is causing me to have to stop and think about ways that I stay in the present.