May 12, 2010

Today was a rainy, dreary, cold day. It seemed like the day would never end. I spent a lot of time gazing out of the window watching people shiver down the street. I briefly left the office during lunch for a meeting with M, which was very helpful. She stressed to me that I really need to become more focused on building my self-confidence. I find this to be true. I think I am a people pleaser to a great extent. I worry too much about what people may say or think about me. I often find myself second guessing myself if something negative is said about me. But I need to not let others define me. I really need to become more secure in who I am so that whatever someone says, will not shake the core of me. A series of events over the years has led to me feeling this way, but I think I might have always wanted to please, first starting with my mother. But as I am exiting my twenties this year, I am determined not to bring this self-destructive behavior into my new decade. I plan on being more comfortable in my own skin and to brush off things that people may say. I need to come up with my own mission statement and hold that dear to my heart. Part of that work requires me to focus on the present instead of jumping to past or future. I really feel this blog is causing me to have to stop and think about ways that I stay in the present.

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One Response to May 12, 2010

  1. Jade says:

    This post came right on time for me! I have realized that I too need to be more confident in myself and not worry (or obsess) about what other’s may think of me. I want to join you in your campaign to stop this behavior immediately. It is so self destructive and a waste of energy. There is a fine line between wanting people have respect for what we say and do versus trying to make people happy with what we say and do. People like you and I tend to focus on making other people happy and satisfied with our behaviors and sayings without focusing on our own desires and wants. A lot has taken place in my life over the past week, and me giving up on trying to make everyone happy and giving up on worrying about what people think about the way I live my life and the decisions I have made is so very liberating and refreshing! I applaud your efforts and I am with you 100% of the way! 🙂
    ~jjc

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